What was i thinking?

As I lay here and ponder so many thoughts that run through my head every night it always comes back to one. I just wanna be loved I just want someone to actually care that I am a truly open and honest person that cares and loves so much and only wants some in return. Why is it that when you love and care so much you are seen as weak and people just take advantage of you. What an idiot i must be to actually think someone like him who is perfect in every way could ever care for someone like me. Someone who people flock to with frequent abandonment would actually love me with his heart and soul like i have come to feel for him. What a moron to believe that time and distance don't matter bull shit its all that matters. The saying love conquers all is a crock of crap is has not and does not conquer all, never has never will. Ive tried time after time to show and tell him how i feel not that I'm looking for anything more than finding out if he may feel the same. I don't need a bf but just to have someone that may love you even close to how much you love them would mean the world to me. Ugh no at every pass every turn its just a roadblock so now I'm left once again to ponder my existence in this world and where exactly i fit in it all. I know i have so much to give but no one seems to want to take they just want to push you aside and leave you there to wallow in the depression that you just cant seem to shake.